Chasing her up the hill It was the summer that I lost my virginity. We went away to the coast for 2 months, my parents forcing me to leave my desktop computer at home. Back then, we didn’t have laptops and wireless internet–just dialup. But still, that made it even more meaningful since I was a tween, and I used America Online–not just the instant messenger client [via iChat]. It was the longest I had ever gone without using the internet since I was born. Her name was Sarah. Her family was staying in a condo down the beach–a little bit nicer than the condo that me & and my parents were going to be in. It took us 2 weeks before we said hello to one another. Playing hide and seek in the hills, chasing one another around the sand dunes. It was the last days of our youth, and we were about to become man and woman. They say you haven’t lived life until you have love. And some even say until you have loved AND lost. One night we snuck out and built a campfire along the shorelines. I brought a boombox and played Incubus and Sigur Ros’s hit album “()”. We talked about who we wanted to be and what we wanted to do–I wanted to be in an a band and she wanted to make short films. The night seemed to last forever–we had stolen a bottle of Boone’s Farm Wine, and eventually got so buzzed that there was no distinction between what was ‘meaningful’ and what was ‘idealistic tween banter.’ We went back to her room. She took off her clothes. I looked at her. I loved her. I felt her. I loved her. I felt her. She took off my clothes. I felt like I was in a French film about misfits who are ‘coming of age.’ She was beautiful. She made me feel beautiful. This was making love. This was not just two horny teens losing their virginity. This was my summer without AOL. We made love. We held one another. We cried and laughed. We came and we grew. We came and we knew. If I had a camera, I would have snapped her photo because her face was warm with love. The sun started to come up. I told her that I loved her. Sunrise on her eyes glaring against her skin beautiful she was mine forever in that moment with the sea mist in the air with our aroma of love and teenjuice. I snuck back into my condo. I fell asleep feeling complete for the first and only time in my life. I woke up 1 hour later since it was time for breakfast. The next day, she was gone. I found a note on her window that was for me. Her dad had to go back to the city because of an emergency at his company. She left her phone number at the bottom of a Polaroid picture that she took, but the number had been smudged. All I had left was this memory on film. & I took a picture of u & U took a picture of me To this day, I use the internet to try to find her. Match.com, facebook.com, twitter.com, google.com–whatever sites have people on them and allow you to search for people. One day I will find her. Her name was Sarah. She was my princess. She was my queen. She was my first. To this day, she is my definition of ‘perfect love’ and I have never treated a woman with such respect because no woman compares to my romanticized recollection of that summer. & I Took a Picture of U & U Took a Picture of Me
She turned around and I thought she looked beautiful
& I took a picture of u & U took a picture of me
& that moment was captured forever
& it’s the only memory of her that remains
& if we had known that this was going to be our lasting memory
We would have done it all the same
We would have done it all differently
— & I took a picture of U & U took a picture of me, by Carles (Hipster Runoff)
